Day 25 .. wacky wednesday..

nothing exciting going on today. same ol same ol.

i did get a workout in when i got home. it was only 2 miles.. but it was better than nothing. my food has been pretty good..not the best.. but decent. i haven't eaten us out of house and home.. yet. im craving ridiculous foods right now. not sure if that's more pms or stress. i haven't caved ... and im doing well otherwise.

the week is half over.. but the DREADED friday is coming up. man i hate fridays. friday nights specifically. the bar. working there. the husband and his temper and hate. ug.

just. have. to. survive. that. night.

thank goodness i don't like to drink... or do drugs. if i did, i would have been in BIG trouble these past few days.

keeping my chin up! it could be worse... :D <-- cheesy smile

Day 24.. WHOA! time got away from me!

first.. weigh in day was monday. guess what the number was? 180. again. the numbers i ALWAYS get stuck on are 220 .. 200 .. 180 .. and 160. it takes foreverrrrr to break through those numbers. never have broken through 160. stupid scale.

i feel good though. looking back at fridays post.. wow.. i was a snarly biatch. lol. im pmsing.. i know it. and this weekend was sucky too for the record.. but i said my peace when i needed to.. and things are better. :) guess i need to do that more often. heh.

i haven't worked out since friday. i have been so fricken busy. filing taxes (business and personal).. bookwork.. kids.. house.. life. im so tired. i got sooo much accomplished today though. husband is in a better mood too.. probably because we get a hefty tax return. luckily we are poor and get mega bucks back from earned income credit and poppin out kids. lol. *whew* this is the only time of year that it doesn't suck being poor. seriously. the previously mentioned return coming will also pay off three credit cards (one of which is HUGE).. and all of husbands doctor bills. we are also getting another vehicle for him to drive.. which will save us about $160 a month in gas. YAY.

food.. not so great.. but not bad. next week im going to start carb cycling. my body doesn't like this lower carb crap... or eating the same thing everyday. sent me into constipation hell. all i can do it keep on trying and changing things up when i see my body (or mind) doesn't like it anymore. i miss my treadmill too :(  tonight im gonna watch biggest loser and job on the trampoline for an hour... if i can get it away from my daughter long enough. im so proud of her.. she is on this kick and is really taking it serious. UG! that means i have to get my ass in gear. the plan is that we get in good enough shape to actually go running at night this summer. she is holding up her part.. i have to hold up mine.

ok.. better go. making meatloaf sandwiches tonight.. served on a hoagie bun and smothered with mozzarella cheese. mmmmmm. im not having the mozzarella or the bun. *sniff* but its all good.. and worth it.

toodles!

Day 20.. pissy Friday..

uggg this day has sucked. im gonna make a quickie post because i don't like blogging a lot of bitchiness.

i did manage to squeeze out a 5 mile walk. i wasn't in the mood to run.. but did get a good walk in. my legs are still very sore.. new muscles found on my legs (not quads or hams) :O apparently there is one (or more?) on the SIDE of my leg too?? nice. thanks for warning me. it hurts too..

so husband is being a complete dick today and im not in the mood to butter his ego just so he feels better. bleh. my daughter got into a screaming match at school with a bitch (yes.. she really IS a bitch and has been for years). the bad thing about it is that my daughter didn't take the high road like i have preached and preached. she has an attitude too.. and some days she is an unbearable 14 year old. however.. this little spat today was over some petty bullshit that my daughter helped to egg on.. and crap that you would see in kindergarten. like.. you are sitting too close to me.. &  i was here first.. etc etc. it escalated to a point where my daughter went psycho on this chick verbally.. calling her an f'n b!itch.. f off.. f this and f that.. and vice versa. im really disappointed.. but more so really embarrassed. when you live in a small town of 2k people.. EVERYTHING gets out. we own a business... and count on the public to spend money at our business. you get the picture. soo... i tell her dad about it...

as ALWAYS.. he says well that chick probably IS an f'n b!tch.

wow. way to teach our kids about dealing with people, dear husband. of course.. that's what HE would have done too. he is the cursing king.... and tact isn't something he has ever had. ug! for years i have tried to teach my kids to be classy and not trashy. fight your battles with confidence, sarcasm and truth... not screaming and cursing. pfft. there goes that theory. hubby will probably give her a high five when he gets home.

anyway.. she got detention. husband is acting like a dick now.. and i get to deal with him tonight. fridays always suck anyways.. this was the icing on the pissy cake. we work at the bar tonight. he will give everyone dirty looks.. be sarcastic.. people will leave.. he will be bitchy and say they leave because of him (because surely they didn't already have OTHER plans.. or i dont know, want to GO HOME BECAUSE THEY ARE TIRED) and thennnn we will probably argue. again.

YAY! (sarcasm)

a cheeseburger sounds so good right now. *sigh* .....but salad it will be tonight.

my next investment will be a punching bag. just saying..

Day 19 .. contagious!

had a long day at work today.. like.. it.  took.  foreverrrrr to get to 1pm. on thursdays i serve chili and cinnamon rolls at the coffee shop for lunch. i was super slow anyway.. but THEN.. oh my gosh.. i had to sit there and smell those cinnamon rolls. FRESH out of the oven cinnamon rolls. extra cinnamony (yes that's a word) cinnamon rolls. i paced the floor behind the bar yelling at myself in my head. lol. im not even kidding. all i could think of was how freckin good it would taste. THEN.. i kept thinking.. um hello.. do you know how much work that would be to exercise those additional calories off??! and umm.. hellooo.. 19 days of perfect eating?! is it REALLY worth it? sigh. probably.. but i didn't cave. lol.. i ate a banana instead... now i have gas. stupid banana.

so i got home and changed clothes really fast and popped in the movie miss. congeniality 2 and started walking. i decided right away that i was going to run again today. not a mile.. not at once anyway. i REALLY want to work up to it.. so i don't crap out early. i walked a half mile.. jogged a half mile.. etc etc for 2.5 miles. it felt really good. my legs are killing me right now. especially my calves.. but its a good hurt. :) YaY!

this sounds goofy.. but some day when i get to my goal (fitness goal.. not weight goal).. i REALLY look forward to saying "honey, be back in an hour, im going for a run". crazy... i know. most people look forward to the size 5 jeans. i do look forward to that too.. but i really look forward to running. and seeing muscles. the last time i lost a lot of weight.. i got down to 162 pounds. i couldn't get below that number and i wasn't fit yet. i don't remember what happened.. but i crept back up.. and continued over the past several years. at 162, i felt awesome (coming from 256) but i have never really finished this journey. this time.. im going to run through that finish line.. then start a new phase/race.

so my husband has been eating better because of with me. last night he had a salad. you have no idea how BIG this is. i felt bad for him when we went to bed because his stomach physically started growling at 10pm. he turned over and went to sleep. its in shock.. poor thing. he is a night eater. BIG dinner.. chips or popcorn a few hours later etc.. followed by a 2 liter of mountain dew. he stopped drinking pop about a week ago (because i did at the first of the year).. he has been drinking more water.. eating healthier lunches (not as strict as me.. but for him its a HUGE change). aaaand guess what?

that ass has lost 4 pounds in a few fricken days with no exercise and only changing a couple things. men suck. seriously. grrr...

he says my changes in eating, exercising and just the pure determination i have lately is contagious. even my step-daughter is catching the bug. she tells me the carbs, protein, veggies, fruits, and fats from her school lunch.. and how she balanced it. she also changed to white milk at school and as i type this she is in there jogging on the mini-trampoline. :)

fitness is contagious...

Day 18 ... cha cha cha changeee

yesterday i ended up walking 2.6 miles on the treadmill. k brought my headphone extension and it worked perfectly. the only reason i only did 2.6 miles is because i ran out of time. i probably wouldn't have even done that much if my husband hadn't come home for lunch and did the dishes, picked up the house and started some laundry. yay! some days he amazes me.. most days he frustrates me. lol..

im trying to re-evaluate my calories. im eating well.. but still going over in calories. i don't have much room to cut anything out.. but have to rearrange them so i don't have so many carbs (damn banana).. and my fat count is lower. i wonder if that's why my scale weight is being a bitch. i was up again today to 180. that %$#@& number just keeps haunting me. i bounced around it all last week. i know that 5.5 pounds in two weeks is good.. but im used to seeing a huge drop the first couple weeks.. like 7ish and then a 3 or 4 the third. from there i stay at about 2 per week. anyway.. im going to play with some food ideas.. change some things around.. etc. i don't want to take my carbs out from the morning because i REALLY need then for when i workout. i hate feeling dizzy or hungry when im doing a video or walking. its annoying and usually is a good excuse to stop. i will figure this out..

today is a short day at the coffee shop. i close up at 11am.. then i am off to the grocery store then home. i am craving something different today.. maybe turbo jam or something. might walk 2 miles on the treadmill.. then do a video. i need a change up..

that's all i have for now... happy HUMP day!

** UPDATE! i ran a freakin mile! yeah.. ME.. *I* ran!! ok.. well i JOGGED and it was a 12 minute mile.. but still! OMG you have no idea how unbelievable that is! im going to start from there and build up. it may take me a while.. but i DID NOT DIE.. so i know i can do more!! YAY! that was the best feeling i have had in FOREVERRRR! i loveeeee NSVs! :D

Day 17.. i really dislike Tuesdays...

yesterday i got a good walk in again... 5 miles. the only sucky thing about it is that my wireless headphones bugged out and are not working right now. grrr. i watch movies while i walk.. so that is my SAVIOR. without those.. i wouldn't be able to do it. i tried to unplug the device and listen to the movie turned all the way up.. but my ghetto treadmill squeals so badly that i cant even hear what people are saying. it was frustrating to say the least. i have a friend going to town today (town is where we buy everything - it has actual store - and is 30 miles away).. so she is gong to look for an extension cord so i can plug headphones directly into the TV. i think my sweat is what killed my other ones.they are big and when i am finished.. my when i a finished.. my whole face is soaked - including the big 'ol headphones. i think i fried them out with sweat... lol.

eating went good yesterday. i went over by 30 calories. i think it was the second string cheese i ate. i love cheese. my favorite thing to eat in the world is cheapo quesadilla. ooie gooie melted cheese between two tortillas.. cut into triangles. mmmm. so this past weekend.. i found some multi grain low carb tortillas.. and i take my string cheese apart.. lay it on ONE tortilla folded in half.. then melt it in the microwave. mmmm... not like my old one but still only 150 calories.. low in fat and low in carbs. helps me with my cravings.. so i don't feel like im restricting myself so much.

today i work through lunch.. its soup day here at my coffee shop. im serving sausage gumbo (smells so freakin good too). i get finished at 1pm.. home by 1:20 hopefully.. then i hope to get some sort of workout in. im going to do a video. depending on how much time i dink around.. i want to do a turbo jam or if i run short on time.. a 20 minute cardio blast. one of my kids gets out from school early today. so i have to hit the schools starting at 2:50pm. crap.. i also have to go by the bank today too. see? this is why tuesdays suck. i have so much to do at home.. my house is a wreck. i have my favorite shows on tonight.. so i want to get it all done before 7 .. including kids homework, dinner, kids bathed, kitchen cleaned after dinner, and whatever else calls my name.

now.. i need to go eat before i dive in this crockpot of gumbo. i have a banana and my healthy quesadilla and cheese thingie calling my name..

Day 16.. Weigh-In Day..

179.5 .. not too shabby. i did have my big beginning drop this week.. the week after TOM left. guess starting to exercise and eat right on the same week as TOM is here.. not good when you are looking for results right away.

ate perfectly this weekend. i didn't get any real workouts in.. but my body really needed the rest. i worked the shit out of it last week. my legs are still a little sore.. but not in pain anymore. i close the coffee shop at 11 this morning so i plan to get a good workout in from noon till 2pm. i have a little running around to do right after work and some laundry to get organized and started when i get home.. so i gotta move my booty.

the weekend was uneventful. i did manage to get some grocery shopping done. yay me! i have a shelf in the fridge that is MINE. i already threatened the family. if they touch it i will kill them. :) lovingly of course. i have passed up a LOT of temptation.. and im super proud of myself for that. the husband even passed up a lot this weekend too. im super proud of that as well. since i have been tracking calories.. we have been talking a LOT about calories in vs. calories out. hes slowly catching on.. now im waiting for him to start being serious. if i continue to lose.. he will jump on board for sure. like me, he is a competitive person.. so he wont like to see me keep dropping and working out.. while he gorges and sits on the couch. he will soon be doing something too.

went to my moms to get some of her fat clothes. ugg. her fat clothes are now my skinny clothes. she has lost 100lbs on that fancy protein diet. im so proud of her too. she has been doing it 7 or 8 months now and has not cheated one time. not once. it shows! she is smaller than me for the first time in 15 years i think. talk about motivating! i gotta catch up for sure. i SHOULD have started in october.. but my mind wasn't into it yet. i truly believe that you have to be FULLY committed when you start this journey. i know i have to be. im an all or nothing kind of person. but that's me. because of this.. im also impatient.. and that's a killer some times.

anyway... here's to a new week!

Day 13 .. Friday The 13th! .. WHOOT!

i meant to post yesterday but it was a crazy afternoon. i worked until 1pm. had to run a million errands after i closed the coffee shop.. then booked it home to work out before i had to pick up kids from school. i decided to do the walking away the pounds video.. my newest one. i was shooting for 5 miles.. but only did 4 of them before running out of time. i thought the workout would be a little less strain on my already soar legs. BOY was i wrong! Leslie kicked my ass! hopefully she burned some calories  and fat off of my ass while she was kicking it!

i loved the workout and was breathing harder than when im on my treadmill. it was awesome. the resistance bands were just enough to about kill me.. but still doable. im going to start doing more videos just to mix things up a bit. probably on my busier days.. tuesdays and thursdays for sure.. and maybe throw a short one in on my less busy days that i walk on the treadmill. you should see my video collection. its pathetic really. i have probably 30 or 40 videos .. at least. from turbo jam to tae bo... ALL of the WATP.. and then a bunch of sculpting videos... plus some hip hop somethings. oh yeah.. and i cant forget the yoga and palates for dummies. lol. those sucked and i am NOT good at that at all.. even the dummy version.

im going to try not to talk too much about the body buggg (after this post). some.. but not so much that all i see is body buggg posts. lol.. im in love with it... borderline obsessed. i like tracking what i eat and comparing it to REAL calories burned throughout the whole day. i can see my deficit daily.. and know that if i haven't gotten enough exercise in to meet my goal.. i can do something more at night.. like jog on my trampoline. its awesome. i cant get over it. the ONLY problem i have encountered is that i cant wear it at night. you can wear it while you sleep and it will tell you how restless you are. i am apparently NOT restless, however... it rubs a spot on my arm and turns it into almost a rug burn of sorts. i took it off last night when i went to bed.. and put it back on first thing this morning. that works for me.

so today's plan after i close at 11am.. is to go home and get my workout in early.. get the house cleaned.. maybe do a quickie video (depending how many miles i can survive on the treadmill).. get the kids from school.. finish cleaning the house - especially getting some fricken laundry done.. make dinner.. and then come back up here and work tonight. bleh @ that. its my night to work the bar. i hope we aren't dead. i need to be super busy so i don't get bored or tired. ugg. its going to be really busy tomorrow though, so i don't know what to expect tonight. the denver broncos play tomorrow night.. and where we live.. its a HUGE rivalry between the chiefs and broncos. since the broncos made it to the playoffs and my brother and i are lifetime broncos fans.. a lot of people will be up here at the bar watching the game tomorrow night. YAY! i need the business. this week has been dead at the coffee shop.. hopefully the bar can make up for it.

on a side note.. i have had a couple people inquire about buying the bar this week. not sure if i mentioned it.. but im trying to sell it. i need to get out of it.. so we can get out of debt.. sell the house and move back to the city. ANY city. im so fkn tired of small town living. im a city girl. even though this is my hometown.. i hate it here. i want to go back to a place where no one knows me (but my friends).. and no one cares when i took a shit last. seriously. im done with small town living.

on that note.. i better get some shiz done around here...

toodles for now...

Day 11 .. habits are forming..

im looking forward to my workouts now. like.. thinking about it all morning and everything. *smacks head* so THIS is what its like to form a habit.. a GOOD habit. wow.. who woulda thunk it.

my bodybuggg came in the mail today! YAY! i got it registered and everything. im so excited! yeah, it takes very little to get me excited. when i logged on to the site.. i noticed that they had them on sale (just for January i think) for $129.99. if you are thinking about getting one.. NOW would be a good time to get one. it comes with 6 months of the online program too. i bought mine on Amaz0n for $179.. which was also a good deal. i had to because i was using Amaz0n gift certificates. normally these run about $200. regardless... im in loveeeee with it already.

on the shittiie side of the day.. we found out that our piece of shit explorer is going to cost us almost $600 to fix. my husband is the MOST impatient person (and sometimes overly dramatic) and would not wait for this other guy to fix it.. so he took it to a name brand rip-off place. grr. i was so sick of arguing.. i gave up and said just feckn DO IT! oh and as if THAT wasn't irritating enough.. MR. NON-PLANNER himself told them to go ahead and start it todayyyy. the parts wont be in until tomorrow.. so yeah.. tear it apart TODAY. im like.. uh.. how are you getting home? well you can just come get me. THIRTY MILES AWAY with my other piece of shit car that dies all the time. lol. yeah ok. so how are you going to get to work in the morning. what? you didn't THINK about that did you? ahhh hell.. just rent a car for a day. whats another $75?? we have a charge card that's not maxed out completely.. we should be able to squeeze that last little limit out.. so now we have FOUR cards maxed out. YIPPEEEEE! oh.. did i mention that it needs new front brakes and rotors? yeah.. that too. no more room on credit card = wait until they smoke or the tires fall off taxes come back.

yep.. im living the american dream.

if nothing else.. i will just keep exercising and losing weight so i can look good doing it.. RAWR!

Day 10 ..a better day..

feeling less poopy today. i got on the scale this morning and saw 181. thank goodness i didn't throw in the towel after seeing a one pound drop. K was right. TOM went away.. i jumped on the treadmill yesterday and did my 5 miles again. it felt awesome. i decided to ignore the scale.. however, we now know that didn't last long. lol. my jeans fit this morning too.. that's the best NSV there is. i still have this nasty muffin top.. but its not as noticeable this week. the bloating is gone sooo that helps. my legs are feeling REALLY good.

one thing i hate about my body.. my build. i have VERY muscular legs.. like a runner would have. my legs - especially my calves and quads are never an issue for me. when i start walking or working out.. muscle pops out immediately. most of my weight drops from there first. that kinda sucks since i carry most of my weight around my stomach and chest.

patience.. and perseverance..

next week im thinking about starting the couch to 5k. maybe doing it on tues- thurs- and saturdays. i need to find a more fitting workout for those days since i have less time. like today for instance, i work until 1pm.. and IF i can get cleaned up before 1 and be out the door by 1:15.. i might be able to get in a decent workout before i go get the kids. i have found that evenings don't work for me.. and mornings.. haha.. that's a joke unless i get up at 5am. yeah, my workouts will get more and more necessary.. but so is my sleep. so that's out of the question.

i just have to find a way to make it work. and i will..

im more determined than ever...

i WILL hit 170 by the end of January..

Day 9 .. Weigh-In Day

one pound. 184.5. seriously?

a full week of eating well... NO SODA.. getting exercise in as much as i can (ok.. could have done more).. and i only drop ONE stinkin pound. grrr

my friend K said that as soon as TOM is gone, i may see a big drop. i have maybe one more day left. i hope so.

that's why i cant wait to get my bodybugg. i need to know where i'm going wrong when it comes to my food. i may not be eating enough. so frustrating! at least it will tell me what i am REALLY getting burned (not the goofy treadmill number).. then compare it to my daily calories.. and tell me what i need to increase or decrease. at least that's what i hope it will do.

my weekend sucked, on the personal side. i'm not going to get into that now.. mostly because it will get me irritated again and i don't want that. the day isn't going so bad.. so i will try and keep it that way. i wonder what kind of impact stress has on weight loss...

no looking back... on to the new week....

Day 6 .. TGIF?

had a good morning.. nothing dramatic which is good. got off work at 11 and headed straight home. didn't even sit down because i knew if i did.. a nap was in store for me.

jumped in some workout clothes and hit the treadmill. did another 5 miles today.. 3 miles of it on full incline. felt like my legs were going to give out on me so took it back down and did the final 2 miles flat. watched the Bratzz movie. it was cute. my choices of movies to watch are limited to whatever i can find in the "garage sale" boxes. we have watched all of our movies 101 times so we are getting ready to sell them all. i think i need to get my ass to the library this weekend and rent some. the only ones i haven't seen are my daughters tween movies. it gets me through the miles.. but i can only handle so much teenie movie madness..

tonight i have to work the bar. yuck. my brother works it normally on thursdays and saturdays. tomorrow he is going out of town so i have to work tomorrow night too. makes for a longgg weekend. i hope its super busy because it makes the night go by fast.. and of course, owning a business that MAKES money is nice too.

i have more to say.. but i need to kick my feet up for 30 minutes before i make dinner. the balls of my feet are burning.. almost feel like i have blisters. i don't.. but the incline always kills my feel right there. boo hoo. my feet need to toughen up again. i guess its been too long since they have been worked. hmmm .. ya think?

oh yeah.. food has been spot on today. i think i'm way under calories tho. i need to start tracking that. OHHH and i FINALLY broke down and bought a bodybuggg today! whoot! i'm so excited! i spent money on myself. well.. not household money.. mostly gift card money.. but hey! that's new for me. :)

im learning!

Day 5.. you spin me right round baby..

WOW.. this day flew the freck by! where did it go??! my head is still spinning.

i didnt get out of work until almost 2pm. by the time i got home.. and breathing again.. i had a dozen phone calls to make for the business. trying to renew my loan for it.. moving banks and having to balance all of this planning and doing with my moms schedule too because she is on the loan with me. ahhh! its fricken crazy. oh yeah and somewhere in there i crammed a salad down my throat.. mostly to shut my stomach up so i could get some shit done. pfft... really, i made it and ate it fast because i knew that if i didn't.. i would dive into something processed and fast and probably 10x what i needed in calories for the whole damn day. WHY?..  because its EASIER and i was freaking HUNGRYYY. sooo i was then back on the phone between bites (not a pretty sight)... & no sooner than i got off the phone.. it was time to go get my kids from school. CRAP!

my thinking = when i get home.. i can work out ~ even if its for 30 minutes. 


ask me if i have done that.

nope. dealing with kids.. homework.. hearing about their day.. cooking dinner... etc. as soon as i get done with this quick update (cuz I'm TRYING to post every day).. i'm off to do the dishes and start some laundry. i will do sit-ups with the family tonight.. maybe some push-ups too. we did them last night. it was a lot of fun. i'm making everyone do them with me every night and we will track our progress... hmm... i might even track it here.

i can only do 14 full sit-ups. that was last night and i was BEAT from my treadmill workout. i'm shooting for 20 tonight and will go from there. i'm hoping that by the end of January.. i will be able to do 50 full sit-ups at once.

doable :) no excuses..

Day 4 .. the walk of fame..

so i made a date with the treadmill today. success! holy shit... i now hurt. bad. my legs are aching and i think i have a couple of blisters on my feet. seriously. and my legs.. they feel like i just had 2 hours of kinky crazy sex in 20 positions. yeah.. well i think anyway. i don't remember what that's like either.. so lets imagine. my hips hurt. i found muscles that have been hibernating for some time now. it feels good. i watched a movie while i walked. it made the time fly by. the first 40 minutes i walked at 3.8... then i walked 30 minutes at 3.4 with full incline. FULL incline.. i think that's what killed me. then the last 20 minutes or so i walked at 3.4 with no incline.. slowly bringing my speed down every 5 minutes. it felt great. when i got off the treadmill.. i almost fell on my ass because my legs were jello.. lol.

food was good today. i'm hungry right now.. so that's good. physical hunger is awesome for me.. i love feeling it because i know that my body has used the energy i have given it.. and it needs more. as soon as i'm finished here.. i'm going to make some dinner. not sure what i am having.. but it will be protein packed with some sort of veggie and a small carb. small. i have also gotten my water in.. and today is the first day that i  have had NO SODA. none. i think i am going to try and give up my diet dr. pepper. i was addicted to the max. my husband has also not had any pop (at home). i know he is drinking it at work.. but i am trying to ween him off of it at home because the caffeine messes with his sleep. cutting the sugar wont hurt him either.

ok.. so i would say today was a success. tomorrow i work until 1pm. my son has an appointment tomorrow so he is walking to my shop at lunch.. i will take him home at 1pm... he leaves with my brother for the appt (my nephews are going too ~ they all have ortho appts.)... so i have from about 2pm till 3pm to get a workout of some sort done. im thinking one of Leslie's walking away the pounds videos. i LOVE them. if you ever want a video to do at home that is DOABLE.. and i know this because i have lost a LOT of weight doing the WATP videos.. these are where you can start. i don't have my living room space.. and these videos are PERFECT for time crunch and lack of space. soooo.. that's the plan tomorrow....

Day 3 .. Happy Birthday To Meeeee...

Yep.. today i turned 39 years old. i feel every bit of it too. cant say today was a bad day ... it was actually one of the best birthdays i have had in a long time... good friends with lots of laughs. food intake is another story.

had two great friends come into my coffee shop.. as they do every day. yesterday, one of them (K) told the other (K2) that i needed a cake... so K2 made me one.. from SCRATCH. it was an AWESOME cake .. no doubt about it.. but AHH i have done sooo well until that damn cake! lol.. so yeah.. i ate some.. of course. but HEY i didn't eat any breakfast or lunch (not so good)... but that's not a good reason to eat cake. my reason is cuz she made a damn good cake.. second.. it was my birthday. ok.. excuses excuses. then to top it all off.. hubby made me a fat rib-eye steak for dinner. more meat than i needed for sure. i know that with my body shape.. red meat is definitely not something i should include in my foods. bleh. i'm not gonna get all weird about it.. but it sure feels icky right now. not a lot of food for the day.. possibly even under calories.. but damnnnn... the fat content alone is gross im sure..

tomorrow the kids go back to school. working out will be on the plan for sure. i haven't had the chance to do that yet. i feel like a total clusterfeck when the kids are at home.. cant seem to get anything accomplished.. especially when it comes to taking care of myself.

i still have 200thousand things to get done around the house (LOTS of tax and end of year business crap).. but its time for me to do ME first.. and everything else second. even if its for 20 minutes.. or 30... preferably 60 lol.. but we'll see.

it was my birthday.. so i can void today out. thats my story and im sticking to it. its the only "pass" i will give myself.. until i make my goal. im not going to stress over a few steps back on ONE day. i will just take a few extra steps tomorrow... :)

Day 2 .. hmmm...

Day 1.. that was an ok day.. nothing special. ate well.. no bad foods.. thinking of making a plan etc.. but no exercise. i have issues with exercising around people... and with kids and husband hovering around me all the time.. not much time for ME. did buy another walking video... and makeup.. and nail polish.. lol. hey.. i never buy myself anything... so it was a big deal :P

Day 2.. not sure what to say about today. i meant to get home after work (@ 11) and exercise.. but because my husband wasnt working today.. that didnt happen. we ended up cleaning like crazy.. then watching a movie.. then napping.. and now he is playing a video game while i finish up my day with getting the kids showered and ready for bed.

my food wasnt bad today. for breakfast.. i had a small bowl of cereal (which was a miracle because i NEVER eat breakfast). for lunch i had a bowl of salad with some tuna in it. yummy! i love tuna. i snacked on some turkey around 2ish cuz i was starvinggg.. and for dinner i had a bowl of cereal. i dont have a a big variety of foods to choose from just yet. im disorganized with planning... and on a budget of NOTHING.. i have to do what i can. i love the fact that my husband bought salad... and later ate a shit load of m&ms. lovely. but on a side note.. i didnt ask for any.. and the selfish ass didnt offer any. lol. i guess thats a plus.

not too stressful of a day. was wigged out earlier because im so sick of my house being a disaster (husband and three kids = little help)... but once i got thru that rage.. i was good. im pmsing so thats more likely the source.

did i mention that i need and want to quit smoking too? yeah.. crazy to try and quit while dieting.. but once i get moving (exercising).. it might get easier. who knows.. one day at a time. im working on my first goal... 170.. and my size 12 jeans that i no longer fit into (as of two months ago.. uggg!) i refuse to buy new ones.. so im wearing my MOMS old jeans (16s) that fall off me.. cuz she is losing weight on one of those crazy protein diets. she has lost 90lbs so far.. YaY her. she now weighs less than me and that sucks goats ass..

more on that later.

for now.. im going to go sit on my rump and think about tomorrows plan. by wednesday i will be good.. cuz the kids go back to school and i will have a few hours to myself in the afternoon.

so thats it for day one. oh.. and i jumped on the scale yesterday morning. my official starting weight is 185.5 ... yuck.