Day 25 .. wacky wednesday..

nothing exciting going on today. same ol same ol.

i did get a workout in when i got home. it was only 2 miles.. but it was better than nothing. my food has been pretty good..not the best.. but decent. i haven't eaten us out of house and home.. yet. im craving ridiculous foods right now. not sure if that's more pms or stress. i haven't caved ... and im doing well otherwise.

the week is half over.. but the DREADED friday is coming up. man i hate fridays. friday nights specifically. the bar. working there. the husband and his temper and hate. ug.

just. have. to. survive. that. night.

thank goodness i don't like to drink... or do drugs. if i did, i would have been in BIG trouble these past few days.

keeping my chin up! it could be worse... :D <-- cheesy smile

Day 24.. WHOA! time got away from me!

first.. weigh in day was monday. guess what the number was? 180. again. the numbers i ALWAYS get stuck on are 220 .. 200 .. 180 .. and 160. it takes foreverrrrr to break through those numbers. never have broken through 160. stupid scale.

i feel good though. looking back at fridays post.. wow.. i was a snarly biatch. lol. im pmsing.. i know it. and this weekend was sucky too for the record.. but i said my peace when i needed to.. and things are better. :) guess i need to do that more often. heh.

i haven't worked out since friday. i have been so fricken busy. filing taxes (business and personal).. bookwork.. kids.. house.. life. im so tired. i got sooo much accomplished today though. husband is in a better mood too.. probably because we get a hefty tax return. luckily we are poor and get mega bucks back from earned income credit and poppin out kids. lol. *whew* this is the only time of year that it doesn't suck being poor. seriously. the previously mentioned return coming will also pay off three credit cards (one of which is HUGE).. and all of husbands doctor bills. we are also getting another vehicle for him to drive.. which will save us about $160 a month in gas. YAY.

food.. not so great.. but not bad. next week im going to start carb cycling. my body doesn't like this lower carb crap... or eating the same thing everyday. sent me into constipation hell. all i can do it keep on trying and changing things up when i see my body (or mind) doesn't like it anymore. i miss my treadmill too :(  tonight im gonna watch biggest loser and job on the trampoline for an hour... if i can get it away from my daughter long enough. im so proud of her.. she is on this kick and is really taking it serious. UG! that means i have to get my ass in gear. the plan is that we get in good enough shape to actually go running at night this summer. she is holding up her part.. i have to hold up mine.

ok.. better go. making meatloaf sandwiches tonight.. served on a hoagie bun and smothered with mozzarella cheese. mmmmmm. im not having the mozzarella or the bun. *sniff* but its all good.. and worth it.

toodles!

Day 20.. pissy Friday..

uggg this day has sucked. im gonna make a quickie post because i don't like blogging a lot of bitchiness.

i did manage to squeeze out a 5 mile walk. i wasn't in the mood to run.. but did get a good walk in. my legs are still very sore.. new muscles found on my legs (not quads or hams) :O apparently there is one (or more?) on the SIDE of my leg too?? nice. thanks for warning me. it hurts too..

so husband is being a complete dick today and im not in the mood to butter his ego just so he feels better. bleh. my daughter got into a screaming match at school with a bitch (yes.. she really IS a bitch and has been for years). the bad thing about it is that my daughter didn't take the high road like i have preached and preached. she has an attitude too.. and some days she is an unbearable 14 year old. however.. this little spat today was over some petty bullshit that my daughter helped to egg on.. and crap that you would see in kindergarten. like.. you are sitting too close to me.. &  i was here first.. etc etc. it escalated to a point where my daughter went psycho on this chick verbally.. calling her an f'n b!itch.. f off.. f this and f that.. and vice versa. im really disappointed.. but more so really embarrassed. when you live in a small town of 2k people.. EVERYTHING gets out. we own a business... and count on the public to spend money at our business. you get the picture. soo... i tell her dad about it...

as ALWAYS.. he says well that chick probably IS an f'n b!tch.

wow. way to teach our kids about dealing with people, dear husband. of course.. that's what HE would have done too. he is the cursing king.... and tact isn't something he has ever had. ug! for years i have tried to teach my kids to be classy and not trashy. fight your battles with confidence, sarcasm and truth... not screaming and cursing. pfft. there goes that theory. hubby will probably give her a high five when he gets home.

anyway.. she got detention. husband is acting like a dick now.. and i get to deal with him tonight. fridays always suck anyways.. this was the icing on the pissy cake. we work at the bar tonight. he will give everyone dirty looks.. be sarcastic.. people will leave.. he will be bitchy and say they leave because of him (because surely they didn't already have OTHER plans.. or i dont know, want to GO HOME BECAUSE THEY ARE TIRED) and thennnn we will probably argue. again.

YAY! (sarcasm)

a cheeseburger sounds so good right now. *sigh* .....but salad it will be tonight.

my next investment will be a punching bag. just saying..

Day 19 .. contagious!

had a long day at work today.. like.. it.  took.  foreverrrrr to get to 1pm. on thursdays i serve chili and cinnamon rolls at the coffee shop for lunch. i was super slow anyway.. but THEN.. oh my gosh.. i had to sit there and smell those cinnamon rolls. FRESH out of the oven cinnamon rolls. extra cinnamony (yes that's a word) cinnamon rolls. i paced the floor behind the bar yelling at myself in my head. lol. im not even kidding. all i could think of was how freckin good it would taste. THEN.. i kept thinking.. um hello.. do you know how much work that would be to exercise those additional calories off??! and umm.. hellooo.. 19 days of perfect eating?! is it REALLY worth it? sigh. probably.. but i didn't cave. lol.. i ate a banana instead... now i have gas. stupid banana.

so i got home and changed clothes really fast and popped in the movie miss. congeniality 2 and started walking. i decided right away that i was going to run again today. not a mile.. not at once anyway. i REALLY want to work up to it.. so i don't crap out early. i walked a half mile.. jogged a half mile.. etc etc for 2.5 miles. it felt really good. my legs are killing me right now. especially my calves.. but its a good hurt. :) YaY!

this sounds goofy.. but some day when i get to my goal (fitness goal.. not weight goal).. i REALLY look forward to saying "honey, be back in an hour, im going for a run". crazy... i know. most people look forward to the size 5 jeans. i do look forward to that too.. but i really look forward to running. and seeing muscles. the last time i lost a lot of weight.. i got down to 162 pounds. i couldn't get below that number and i wasn't fit yet. i don't remember what happened.. but i crept back up.. and continued over the past several years. at 162, i felt awesome (coming from 256) but i have never really finished this journey. this time.. im going to run through that finish line.. then start a new phase/race.

so my husband has been eating better because of with me. last night he had a salad. you have no idea how BIG this is. i felt bad for him when we went to bed because his stomach physically started growling at 10pm. he turned over and went to sleep. its in shock.. poor thing. he is a night eater. BIG dinner.. chips or popcorn a few hours later etc.. followed by a 2 liter of mountain dew. he stopped drinking pop about a week ago (because i did at the first of the year).. he has been drinking more water.. eating healthier lunches (not as strict as me.. but for him its a HUGE change). aaaand guess what?

that ass has lost 4 pounds in a few fricken days with no exercise and only changing a couple things. men suck. seriously. grrr...

he says my changes in eating, exercising and just the pure determination i have lately is contagious. even my step-daughter is catching the bug. she tells me the carbs, protein, veggies, fruits, and fats from her school lunch.. and how she balanced it. she also changed to white milk at school and as i type this she is in there jogging on the mini-trampoline. :)

fitness is contagious...

Day 18 ... cha cha cha changeee

yesterday i ended up walking 2.6 miles on the treadmill. k brought my headphone extension and it worked perfectly. the only reason i only did 2.6 miles is because i ran out of time. i probably wouldn't have even done that much if my husband hadn't come home for lunch and did the dishes, picked up the house and started some laundry. yay! some days he amazes me.. most days he frustrates me. lol..

im trying to re-evaluate my calories. im eating well.. but still going over in calories. i don't have much room to cut anything out.. but have to rearrange them so i don't have so many carbs (damn banana).. and my fat count is lower. i wonder if that's why my scale weight is being a bitch. i was up again today to 180. that %$#@& number just keeps haunting me. i bounced around it all last week. i know that 5.5 pounds in two weeks is good.. but im used to seeing a huge drop the first couple weeks.. like 7ish and then a 3 or 4 the third. from there i stay at about 2 per week. anyway.. im going to play with some food ideas.. change some things around.. etc. i don't want to take my carbs out from the morning because i REALLY need then for when i workout. i hate feeling dizzy or hungry when im doing a video or walking. its annoying and usually is a good excuse to stop. i will figure this out..

today is a short day at the coffee shop. i close up at 11am.. then i am off to the grocery store then home. i am craving something different today.. maybe turbo jam or something. might walk 2 miles on the treadmill.. then do a video. i need a change up..

that's all i have for now... happy HUMP day!

** UPDATE! i ran a freakin mile! yeah.. ME.. *I* ran!! ok.. well i JOGGED and it was a 12 minute mile.. but still! OMG you have no idea how unbelievable that is! im going to start from there and build up. it may take me a while.. but i DID NOT DIE.. so i know i can do more!! YAY! that was the best feeling i have had in FOREVERRRR! i loveeeee NSVs! :D

Day 17.. i really dislike Tuesdays...

yesterday i got a good walk in again... 5 miles. the only sucky thing about it is that my wireless headphones bugged out and are not working right now. grrr. i watch movies while i walk.. so that is my SAVIOR. without those.. i wouldn't be able to do it. i tried to unplug the device and listen to the movie turned all the way up.. but my ghetto treadmill squeals so badly that i cant even hear what people are saying. it was frustrating to say the least. i have a friend going to town today (town is where we buy everything - it has actual store - and is 30 miles away).. so she is gong to look for an extension cord so i can plug headphones directly into the TV. i think my sweat is what killed my other ones.they are big and when i am finished.. my when i a finished.. my whole face is soaked - including the big 'ol headphones. i think i fried them out with sweat... lol.

eating went good yesterday. i went over by 30 calories. i think it was the second string cheese i ate. i love cheese. my favorite thing to eat in the world is cheapo quesadilla. ooie gooie melted cheese between two tortillas.. cut into triangles. mmmm. so this past weekend.. i found some multi grain low carb tortillas.. and i take my string cheese apart.. lay it on ONE tortilla folded in half.. then melt it in the microwave. mmmm... not like my old one but still only 150 calories.. low in fat and low in carbs. helps me with my cravings.. so i don't feel like im restricting myself so much.

today i work through lunch.. its soup day here at my coffee shop. im serving sausage gumbo (smells so freakin good too). i get finished at 1pm.. home by 1:20 hopefully.. then i hope to get some sort of workout in. im going to do a video. depending on how much time i dink around.. i want to do a turbo jam or if i run short on time.. a 20 minute cardio blast. one of my kids gets out from school early today. so i have to hit the schools starting at 2:50pm. crap.. i also have to go by the bank today too. see? this is why tuesdays suck. i have so much to do at home.. my house is a wreck. i have my favorite shows on tonight.. so i want to get it all done before 7 .. including kids homework, dinner, kids bathed, kitchen cleaned after dinner, and whatever else calls my name.

now.. i need to go eat before i dive in this crockpot of gumbo. i have a banana and my healthy quesadilla and cheese thingie calling my name..

Day 16.. Weigh-In Day..

179.5 .. not too shabby. i did have my big beginning drop this week.. the week after TOM left. guess starting to exercise and eat right on the same week as TOM is here.. not good when you are looking for results right away.

ate perfectly this weekend. i didn't get any real workouts in.. but my body really needed the rest. i worked the shit out of it last week. my legs are still a little sore.. but not in pain anymore. i close the coffee shop at 11 this morning so i plan to get a good workout in from noon till 2pm. i have a little running around to do right after work and some laundry to get organized and started when i get home.. so i gotta move my booty.

the weekend was uneventful. i did manage to get some grocery shopping done. yay me! i have a shelf in the fridge that is MINE. i already threatened the family. if they touch it i will kill them. :) lovingly of course. i have passed up a LOT of temptation.. and im super proud of myself for that. the husband even passed up a lot this weekend too. im super proud of that as well. since i have been tracking calories.. we have been talking a LOT about calories in vs. calories out. hes slowly catching on.. now im waiting for him to start being serious. if i continue to lose.. he will jump on board for sure. like me, he is a competitive person.. so he wont like to see me keep dropping and working out.. while he gorges and sits on the couch. he will soon be doing something too.

went to my moms to get some of her fat clothes. ugg. her fat clothes are now my skinny clothes. she has lost 100lbs on that fancy protein diet. im so proud of her too. she has been doing it 7 or 8 months now and has not cheated one time. not once. it shows! she is smaller than me for the first time in 15 years i think. talk about motivating! i gotta catch up for sure. i SHOULD have started in october.. but my mind wasn't into it yet. i truly believe that you have to be FULLY committed when you start this journey. i know i have to be. im an all or nothing kind of person. but that's me. because of this.. im also impatient.. and that's a killer some times.

anyway... here's to a new week!