Tuesday, February 21, 2012

its been so long.. i forgot my log-in information...

i literally couldn't get into this blog. i had to reset everything.. lol. oops...

ok.. here i am. this HCGthang... wow. im at 167 right now. WOW! i cant tell you how much i LOVE this stuff! im a follow the rules and see results kinda person.. and this is the answer i have been looking for! YAY!

the husband is back on the road. he isn't making the MAJOR cash flow that was promised (i was pretty leery of that anyway).. but hes working. that's what counts. he likes what he is doing and seems to be in a decent mood too. that's all gravy.

less chaos around the house.. and in life. not gone yet.. we still have a lot of crazy shiz to work thru but its looking more normal lately than not. YAY again! my spirits are up.. the kids are doing great.. husband is pleasantly content and really that's all i want.

oh.. and have i mentioned i lost 16 freaking pounds in 16 freakin days!! woooo hoo! ohhhh.. and BONUS.. i haven't lost my boobs like i usually do!!!! YAY

gotta get off this computer and get my old beater car cleaned up before i go get kids. i think i have it sold! YAY! now.. if ONLY the coffee shop would sell.. i would be in HEAVEN!!! but i digress... im going to take the good and be happy with it while its here... :) :) :)

hope everyone is kickin ass and taking names. hopefully i will be back at it on here again soon... less stress = more time! yipeeeeeeeeeeeeee

toodles for now...

Friday, February 10, 2012

Day 41 ... on the road again...

wow.. time is slipping right through my fingertips! im aliveeeee... and still going string. SO much has changed in the last week.. its crazy!

ok.. first.. the husband went back on the road driving. he likes it.. is happy for the most part.. and we are adjusting to him not being here. its been weird.. and good.. and rough all at the same time. i think he comes home tonight so that will make it much easier... or calming anyway for him.

through all of that change.. we got our taxes back. YAY! paid off a shit load of bills... still have more.. but not so much that its unbearable. that took a HUGEEEEEE stress off me.. and wowzers does that do something to the happy cells in my husbands body. lol..

ok.. last but not least.... ((( DRUM ROLL PLEASE ))) i haven't told many people this yet because of some of the negativity behind it.. but i started a new diet. i researched the hell out of it and was so eager to try it.. so freaking curious... so i did! its Dr. Simeon's HCG diet. i LOVE LOVE LOVE it! i started it Monday... and so far i have lost 6.5 pounds and i have so damn much energy i don't know what to do with it sometimes! im one of the VERY lucky ones that it worked perfectly right away.. no tweaking.. no side affects.. nothing. i got the REAL kind (not the OTC one that has no real HCG in it).. and paid good money for it. im doing the drops. its freaking awesome. i broke through that stupid 180 finally.. and im NOT going back. since i was walking BEFORE i started.. im still walking. im doing less of it.. but not stopping. once i get into the next phase.. and ween myself off it.. and stabilize myself.. im going back to more strenuous exercise. i miss the sweat.. but i am following this diet to a T. no cheats.. not fluctuations at all... so we shall see. :) i will update more on it as i go...

now.. i gotta get off this computer and get a shower taken. im buying an old truck from my neighbor this afternoon (YAY!).. going to be running all over town before getting the kids. this is my only ME time.. lol. ahhhh!

i WILL post more... just gotta get back to a normal routine again... and im almost there! :)

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Day 32.. Good things come from the bad..

well.. on the weight loss front.. im not doing great.. not doing bad. i haven't lost anything since i last logged in. that's to be expected considering the chaos and nuttiness going on at my house..

my husband was fired from his job a few days ago. cool huh? he was fired because of his "attitude problem". he has one. there is no denying it. even when he doesn't.. he appears to have one. that's just him.funny thing is.. we had a long talk about it last weekend. he carries a chip on his shoulder all the time. the job he had as a CDL driver for this company was customer service oriented. when you are a dick 90% of the time.. or appear to be one when you aren't.. you are perceived as having an attitude. that's what happened. a customer complained.. and actually lied about the situation (the chick poked her finger in his chest cussing at him). so how is he going to explain that in THIS instance? yeah im an ass sometimes.. but not THIS time! they said HE cussed at them. wasn't true but who and what are they going to believe?? the MONEY from the customers.. or the employee who wears a fuss face all the time.. even if he is in a good mood? exactly.

anyway.. from that came a better job. i hope. two to three times the money and he will be back out on the road. alone. not dealing with people. that's good and bad. the good.. obviously.. hes a hard worker and gets his job done.. and NOT dealing with people is good. the bad is.. not being home every night and his paranoia and anxiety coming back. you know, cuz since he isn't here at home.. i have the ability to screw every man in town and all (cuz im all that! pfft!). just because i have a business to run and THREE kids to take care of AND a house to keep up with doesn't not mean its not POSSIBLE. uggg! i just hope these past 7 months have proved to him that his paranoia is ridiculous. would be a LOT easier if the damn bar was sold. he will be home on the weekends.. but not until saturday afternoons. that means i run the bar on fridays by myself. double uggg.

so yeah.. stress.. money.. husband.. life... its all getting in the way and takes a toll on me and my journey. i have NOT given up. as soon as things are back on a regular schedule i will get my schedule regular again. the only thing i can do now is stay in control of my stress.. and keep on walking.

to top it all off.. TOM arrived in the middle of it all. YAY! lol..

gotta get busy... before my mad rush of FOUR customers come in here in the next three hours. lol. love this town! PFFFT..

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Day 25 .. wacky wednesday..

nothing exciting going on today. same ol same ol.

i did get a workout in when i got home. it was only 2 miles.. but it was better than nothing. my food has been pretty good..not the best.. but decent. i haven't eaten us out of house and home.. yet. im craving ridiculous foods right now. not sure if that's more pms or stress. i haven't caved ... and im doing well otherwise.

the week is half over.. but the DREADED friday is coming up. man i hate fridays. friday nights specifically. the bar. working there. the husband and his temper and hate. ug.

just. have. to. survive. that. night.

thank goodness i don't like to drink... or do drugs. if i did, i would have been in BIG trouble these past few days.

keeping my chin up! it could be worse... :D <-- cheesy smile

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Day 24.. WHOA! time got away from me!

first.. weigh in day was monday. guess what the number was? 180. again. the numbers i ALWAYS get stuck on are 220 .. 200 .. 180 .. and 160. it takes foreverrrrr to break through those numbers. never have broken through 160. stupid scale.

i feel good though. looking back at fridays post.. wow.. i was a snarly biatch. lol. im pmsing.. i know it. and this weekend was sucky too for the record.. but i said my peace when i needed to.. and things are better. :) guess i need to do that more often. heh.

i haven't worked out since friday. i have been so fricken busy. filing taxes (business and personal).. bookwork.. kids.. house.. life. im so tired. i got sooo much accomplished today though. husband is in a better mood too.. probably because we get a hefty tax return. luckily we are poor and get mega bucks back from earned income credit and poppin out kids. lol. *whew* this is the only time of year that it doesn't suck being poor. seriously. the previously mentioned return coming will also pay off three credit cards (one of which is HUGE).. and all of husbands doctor bills. we are also getting another vehicle for him to drive.. which will save us about $160 a month in gas. YAY.

food.. not so great.. but not bad. next week im going to start carb cycling. my body doesn't like this lower carb crap... or eating the same thing everyday. sent me into constipation hell. all i can do it keep on trying and changing things up when i see my body (or mind) doesn't like it anymore. i miss my treadmill too :(  tonight im gonna watch biggest loser and job on the trampoline for an hour... if i can get it away from my daughter long enough. im so proud of her.. she is on this kick and is really taking it serious. UG! that means i have to get my ass in gear. the plan is that we get in good enough shape to actually go running at night this summer. she is holding up her part.. i have to hold up mine.

ok.. better go. making meatloaf sandwiches tonight.. served on a hoagie bun and smothered with mozzarella cheese. mmmmmm. im not having the mozzarella or the bun. *sniff* but its all good.. and worth it.


Friday, January 20, 2012

Day 20.. pissy Friday..

uggg this day has sucked. im gonna make a quickie post because i don't like blogging a lot of bitchiness.

i did manage to squeeze out a 5 mile walk. i wasn't in the mood to run.. but did get a good walk in. my legs are still very sore.. new muscles found on my legs (not quads or hams) :O apparently there is one (or more?) on the SIDE of my leg too?? nice. thanks for warning me. it hurts too..

so husband is being a complete dick today and im not in the mood to butter his ego just so he feels better. bleh. my daughter got into a screaming match at school with a bitch (yes.. she really IS a bitch and has been for years). the bad thing about it is that my daughter didn't take the high road like i have preached and preached. she has an attitude too.. and some days she is an unbearable 14 year old. however.. this little spat today was over some petty bullshit that my daughter helped to egg on.. and crap that you would see in kindergarten. like.. you are sitting too close to me.. &  i was here first.. etc etc. it escalated to a point where my daughter went psycho on this chick verbally.. calling her an f'n b!itch.. f off.. f this and f that.. and vice versa. im really disappointed.. but more so really embarrassed. when you live in a small town of 2k people.. EVERYTHING gets out. we own a business... and count on the public to spend money at our business. you get the picture. soo... i tell her dad about it...

as ALWAYS.. he says well that chick probably IS an f'n b!tch.

wow. way to teach our kids about dealing with people, dear husband. of course.. that's what HE would have done too. he is the cursing king.... and tact isn't something he has ever had. ug! for years i have tried to teach my kids to be classy and not trashy. fight your battles with confidence, sarcasm and truth... not screaming and cursing. pfft. there goes that theory. hubby will probably give her a high five when he gets home.

anyway.. she got detention. husband is acting like a dick now.. and i get to deal with him tonight. fridays always suck anyways.. this was the icing on the pissy cake. we work at the bar tonight. he will give everyone dirty looks.. be sarcastic.. people will leave.. he will be bitchy and say they leave because of him (because surely they didn't already have OTHER plans.. or i dont know, want to GO HOME BECAUSE THEY ARE TIRED) and thennnn we will probably argue. again.

YAY! (sarcasm)

a cheeseburger sounds so good right now. *sigh* .....but salad it will be tonight.

my next investment will be a punching bag. just saying..

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Day 19 .. contagious!

had a long day at work today.. like.. it.  took.  foreverrrrr to get to 1pm. on thursdays i serve chili and cinnamon rolls at the coffee shop for lunch. i was super slow anyway.. but THEN.. oh my gosh.. i had to sit there and smell those cinnamon rolls. FRESH out of the oven cinnamon rolls. extra cinnamony (yes that's a word) cinnamon rolls. i paced the floor behind the bar yelling at myself in my head. lol. im not even kidding. all i could think of was how freckin good it would taste. THEN.. i kept thinking.. um hello.. do you know how much work that would be to exercise those additional calories off??! and umm.. hellooo.. 19 days of perfect eating?! is it REALLY worth it? sigh. probably.. but i didn't cave. lol.. i ate a banana instead... now i have gas. stupid banana.

so i got home and changed clothes really fast and popped in the movie miss. congeniality 2 and started walking. i decided right away that i was going to run again today. not a mile.. not at once anyway. i REALLY want to work up to it.. so i don't crap out early. i walked a half mile.. jogged a half mile.. etc etc for 2.5 miles. it felt really good. my legs are killing me right now. especially my calves.. but its a good hurt. :) YaY!

this sounds goofy.. but some day when i get to my goal (fitness goal.. not weight goal).. i REALLY look forward to saying "honey, be back in an hour, im going for a run". crazy... i know. most people look forward to the size 5 jeans. i do look forward to that too.. but i really look forward to running. and seeing muscles. the last time i lost a lot of weight.. i got down to 162 pounds. i couldn't get below that number and i wasn't fit yet. i don't remember what happened.. but i crept back up.. and continued over the past several years. at 162, i felt awesome (coming from 256) but i have never really finished this journey. this time.. im going to run through that finish line.. then start a new phase/race.

so my husband has been eating better because of with me. last night he had a salad. you have no idea how BIG this is. i felt bad for him when we went to bed because his stomach physically started growling at 10pm. he turned over and went to sleep. its in shock.. poor thing. he is a night eater. BIG dinner.. chips or popcorn a few hours later etc.. followed by a 2 liter of mountain dew. he stopped drinking pop about a week ago (because i did at the first of the year).. he has been drinking more water.. eating healthier lunches (not as strict as me.. but for him its a HUGE change). aaaand guess what?

that ass has lost 4 pounds in a few fricken days with no exercise and only changing a couple things. men suck. seriously. grrr...

he says my changes in eating, exercising and just the pure determination i have lately is contagious. even my step-daughter is catching the bug. she tells me the carbs, protein, veggies, fruits, and fats from her school lunch.. and how she balanced it. she also changed to white milk at school and as i type this she is in there jogging on the mini-trampoline. :)

fitness is contagious...